My name's NOT Tina

Confession part 1: I'm not as innocent as I seem. I think bad things- of treachery. Malicious thoughts. My most previous "former lover" thinks I'm stupid. I'm Capri. And the worst part about it is that he doesn't even pretend to respect who I am- not Tina, Capri. He has made me the butt of his jokes. Ridicule I did not deserve. I put my spite on hold to manage our relationship, which slowly turned sour over the course of four bittersweet weeks.
The foundation of our problems is his fault. I'm not unfair. He implanted distrust in me and- Lord behold- that seed grew. Nothing is wrong with a flower, maybe even a bush, but this... this crap grew into a tree. I never like agriculture.
In the course of one short month, I've discovered a phrase that regulates my new found way of handling "partnerships", love and abuse cannot coexist. Bell hooks.
I've been abused. My relationship has worn down my mind. It's hard for me to think clearly because I love him so. I'm blinded by my faithfulness to him. But the past month has twisted my delicate thoughts into complete carelessness. I still try my hardest to hold on to what we have, but I realize that what we are experiencing is unhealthy. I'm forcing myself to let go, it is a difficult thing to do. I've done it before so I am reassured that I can manage this. I must let go because my name's NOT Tina, he doesn't seem to realize this.