SawDust

My heart swells in the springtime and in the summer it melts. It's only mid-March and the temperatures are already scratching lower 70s. Yesterday afternoon I sat outside, running my mouth on the phone as usual and although I'm on punishment, I felt so naturally free. I got in trouble a few days ago- got my cell taken, but yesterday I sashayed back and forth on that porch as though I had no worries in the world.
It's something about the weather during these "end of the school year" months- March, April, and May. These are months where each day is light hearted; you wake up with nothing heavy on your mind, there are no problems in sight and everything flows smoothly. All of this because of the weather. It somehow finds its way into your spirit. It finds its way into mine. And when this time of the year rolls around, I am taken to the depths of my most inner ideas, feelings, and truth. I can't help but find what has made me who I am. I discover all of this, year after year, during these springtime months.
I walk around without heavy burdens, I ignore them all. I have no particular focus; not school, home, family, or friends. But with the discovery of truth and who I've developed into comes the realization of how I am. These times are also a period where I begin to doubt and struggle with myself. Some days I feel so lite that I'm distracted with whatever I should be in tune with. I let myself get used by people who are no good for me in the long run, only because it seems the right thing to do at the moment. And because the weather is so fresh and inviting, year after year, I am constantly taken up to a place where my hopes are left waiting for truth.